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Love is like HEAVEN ,



But hurts like HELL;

Songs





Archives

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I tried...
BUT...
I ask myself...
In e end ...
Must i have to sacrifice something ...
Jus to protect something else ...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Saturday, November 29, 2008 11/29/2008


Today ...hmmm...com prog....die...cmf fail again...dono fail how many test already ...really sad man ...no motivation to study laaa...this term life suck ...today when 4 project after sch ...is like so moody can ...i wan to be serious thinking n make everything fast ...den everyone down there giving sian look... i know i have not done much thing yet n that is my job to think of some problem ...but den really cant thing ytd ma... not i don wan ...ended up force myself to use something i did be4 in dnt ...so that it...i didnt help much after that which make me more moody...after all...i didnt do much ...maybe i thinking they r jus kind to me ...as friend maybe is alright 4 not doing much in project...but i feel damn bad ...i think maybe i should tell teacher that i didnt help much n take away some mark from me...maybe this is only fair to my group member ...hais...next tml ...got project, gym, test, class basketball, psycho lec n some other staff to do ....all is ard 12 to 3 laaa...dono wad to do sia ...where should i go ...i not don really feel like doing anything ...not anymore laaa...i so tired ...i so sad ...life to me now ...is like ...one day after e next one laaa...no motivation no target no enjoyment n no more happyness ...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Thursday, November 27, 2008 11/27/2008


Today nothing much only project project project ...okay ...a little sad that i didnt go gym ...should go tml ...exam r coming soon...n i think i have not learn anything from e start sia ...die ...this term though nvr skip much lesson but i was as gd as learning nothing sia ...anyway today psycho lesson ...haha ...nvr thought someone will notice wad i am doing ...but a friend did ...nice one ...=X...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Wednesday, November 26, 2008 11/26/2008


Alright today two thing happen...1st ...i feel bad abt e test ...be4 e test keep on asking 4 help...i know is kind of noise like a pest like that...plus ...ask friend let me copy cos i dono anything...hais ...when sch to study ...ended up wan to copy ...i think i really damn stupid...alright ...have e test ...class was noise ended up become i like "disscusion test "...next ...happy news i guess...today go gym ...i guess i sprain my neck ...couldnt turn e other side if not very pain...ohhh well~~~ sad sia ...tml maybe cant go gym le...is like my neck too pain le...toking abt it ...i jus rmb ...today watches like of kind of like e side drop out ...slipper break ...blah blah blah so feeling quite moody all e way ba ...n be4 i go to gym ...alot of ppl like so dieing to help me fix back my watches laaa...but none could ...n be4 sch ended ...a friend of mine keep on try ...keep on try ...den i told him ...sure cant de ...ppl have been trying like so many time ...but ended up by luck or wad ...he fixed it ...n he said ...i guess is quite meaningful but i didnt really admit it on e spot ...he said "You wont fail if u keep trying but u will fail if u stop trying" alright ...but is this statement alway true...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Tuesday, November 25, 2008 11/25/2008


So tired man ...last wed n thur gym ...fri bball...sat at hm gym...sun n today also gym ...tml n e following day also gym ...have been really pushing hard man...however ...sry ...didnt even smile at u or said hi to u...that e only thing i feel quite bad abt ...next today have two test...math n ssmat...retest math was so call 4 times harder ...cos last week when 4 e tprock thingy laa...ended up have a hard time doing though i study 4 it ...hope to get at least some gd mark man ...ckt already fail...ssmat will be nothing better ...sure fail de ...really leave blank sia ...hais ...study in 1st sem is not that hard sia ...now is like hell...project here n there...test is so hard laaa...ahh...wan to study but jus cant concentrate man...emotion have been so unstable ...trying to be happy ...but jus wont do ...maybe gg gym is jus a way ...to take all my strength n feeling all away ba...so tired ...zzz


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Monday, November 24, 2008 11/24/2008


Quite late le...but still don feel like sleeping ...so i decided to blog ...this weekend ...no training 4 me...cos there a competition gg on n i not in it...alright ...must get over with it i should said ...captain was disappoint on us( not selected 4 e competition de ) cos we didnt go down early in e morning to kallang to watch e race...thought most of us go down on sat ...but i didnt go down to watch them at all...so ...but i guess ...both e captain n e coach will saiding me ...cos ...i was e nearly close to kanna selected de yet i have such negative mindset when i not selected den i don go down to watch them ...Okay ...maybe they will rite abt i didnt go down to watch them ....but i was not e negative mindset type toward dragonboat okay ...i jus think tat this coming week i have 6 test ...maybe i should start studying ...alright wadever ...maybe all that r jus my execuses...next when to eat sarura jus now...with e whole team dragonboat ...after that e main team 22 got a medal ...looking at it ...well~~~ hope to strive harder ...but a sadness toward that team is alway there laaa...okay ...that all 4 dragonboat le ...okay ...this weekend was e most silence one...there a big n serious prob gg on ...my parent was on it ...worrying n scare abt it ...i feel a little sad ...n deeply disappoint abt it ...okay shall not said much on it ...as i don really like to said much on this ...few know this ...but wadever ...so left bro n that little baby ...they will out on e hoilday too ...till tue i think ...so no one was at hm this weekend till very late ...so i was all alone at hm this weekend ...i was bored ...nvr so bored at hm ...psp ...eeee...tired liao ...hp ...worse ...nvr ring at all...how boring can my life be ...okay ladtop...okay laaa...listen to music while study ...but alway ended up watching tv n eat ...n told my friend i wont on9 ...but i did maybe like 5 min ...to ask some question ...so ended up ...nvr use com only listen song ...haiz ...that all 4 my boring weekend ...so lonely ...hope to get some stress soon since got 6 test ...as stress at least got thing to do ...boring suck ...esp. boring life....Well~~~ that all 4 today ...zzz is 1 plus le ...have to sleep liao ...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Sunday, November 23, 2008 11/23/2008


Is so hard ...i so SAD...
Is so easy to Said ...but ...
Is more easy to Show ...but ...
Is yr show n said e same? ...
YES!!! MY HEAD..
It is not at all any same =(
i am so disappointed once again...
As i was back to where i fell again...
how sad can thing be ...
how sad can i be ...
how am i gonna go on from here on...
how !!!How!!!HOw!!!HOW!!!...
if only ... a cry ...a nice meal ...a nite sleep can forget everything...
if not ...i am suffering to my max again...hais...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Thursday, November 20, 2008 11/20/2008

i was not responsible at all...

Some word r not man to be said ...but i had said ...
Some comment suppose to keep to myself...but i shared ...
Some small little thing that i have done 4 u ...i left it unsaid...
n sometime ...
i jus left u a word ...n i go off...i hurt u after all ...




waiting 4 u to come back to me , Wednesday, November 19, 2008 11/19/2008


Today ...two thing have been ...suan le...

MY HEART R SOUR AS WELL AS PAIN ...
I LOSING ALL MY CONFIDENT ...
MY HEART CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE ...
A FEELING WORSE DEN DEATH ...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Monday, November 17, 2008 11/17/2008


Finally i bought my bag ...n end up i buy too small ...waste my money ...stupid me...

Ytd ...after cca...when to k.box with my classmate...it was fun n joy ...some song line r jus so meaningful can ...1st time enjoy at k.box with friend ...feeling was so different from e past where i go with e whole family...

After this few day ...i have make a reflection of myself ...i learn that ...i have change ...have love to complain n comment on other ...emotion have control me ...negative thinking have alway been with me ...wad have causes all this was e lack of time to study , dragonboat was stress nowaday 4 fighting the sit , sometime being left out by a usual gd of friend hurt me, money have become a big issues to me n lastly someone ...i feel like a replacement 4 everything n anything... quitting my cca that i work so hard 4 ...is it worth it ...giving up on friend that we have when out so many time ...is it worth it ...doing so much 4 someone ...yet thing don improve so must i .........is it worth it...see...all this emotion seriously hurt me ...wad must i do ....i wonder ...want to share all this prob ...who would give the damn listening ear to me ...sadly no one...alright ...i will solve this one n 4 all...really hope i get out of this hell situation fast...if not i really gg to kill myself ...gg cca soon again ...should i give up ~~~~~


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Saturday, November 15, 2008 11/15/2008


Alright ...today is a long day i should said ...but lot of thing happen ...1st of all ...a pic 4 everyone to see...a warm lovely hand tat i hold with someone...haha...we r jus playing ...so don think too much ...
anyone wan guess ...who is e person holding my hand ...haha
haha...if only inside will u n i ...how great can it be ar....wahaha....
okay next ...be4 wenting to dragonboat training...my friend n i have 2h left nothing to do ...normally we would go gym to do some warm up ....however ..today my db friend has a friend in cheer leading which need our help...i don feel like helping cos i wan go gym but i was pull down by my friend ...so ya ...anyway my friend do all e job while i stand there see...suddenly a guy came...e way he help to support e gal was So wad can...his hand touch e butt n inside more 4 dono how many time n she could still stay like nothing happen ...i tell u ...i feel so sad laaa...cheer leading ...i really look down on them man...they let ppl touch all over n have no comment or anything ...i feel sad 4 them as well as ...looking down on them ...lol=.=....n ya today training 1st time at swimming pool...cool rite ...1st time go sch swimming pool...but i tell u ...e training there is much more worse ...super lot of strength to be use...super tired ...worse is there de shower rite ...like watering flower laaa....so small...eeee...after all is a gd training ...hehe ...n tml buy my bag i long wish ....hehe...hope tml come fast n is late le ...so tired ...gg to wait till 12 to wish my class best friend HAPPY BIRTHDAY ...n have a gd sleep...haha...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Thursday, November 13, 2008 11/13/2008


FINALLY...
1 regatta , 2 more people to be selected , 13 people to chose from ...

within e 13 people ...5 were seen as better one ...n inside those 2 were my gd friend ...
is kind of sad to fight with each other ...but ...gd luck my friend ...=( ...
it have been months ...we have been training enjoying ,suffering ,eating tgt ...
It make up most of my best time in poly ...n now ...a choice is to be make...
seriously i scare ...

Nothing is fair ...
World is cruel ...
BUT
Never be selfish to yrself ...
I will FIGHT 4 my sit ...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Tuesday, November 11, 2008 11/11/2008

DREAM....

I have a dream last nites...it is like a dream come true to me...it was so real that i thought it really happen ...i Love e way it was happening ...e way we r at least...wow ...a dream tat i didnt notice tat i was inside e dream ...suddenly ...everything was brighten up ...i cant see a thing ...n it was e morning sun tat shine brightly at my eye ...okay ...back to real life ...i realise it was a dream full of hurt ...cos it was not even close to the dream tat was happening...alright within this little dream...lot of feeling was in it ...i feel so much ...but after all it was jus a dream...i post this cos it was my 1st time lot of emotion and feeling was inside e dream n i actually think tat is real ...hais...i sometime wonder ...1st person will alway be in my mind is who ...y it so happen i keep dreaming of same ppl ...jus like i am having e vision in my dream getting clearer n clearer...will u be with my side in e future ...i wonder ...maybe all these r jus stress n pressure i had in myself n force by e surrounding ba ...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Friday, November 7, 2008 11/07/2008


How glad can i be ? Looking back n now...i feel like a coward which i don think i will be in e past...i thought i could managed "it " well ...however ...not only i does not ...but worse i don dare to face it n would rather run away from it...it have been a suffer ,a burden...i guess is e same to u ...nothing more i can said ...nothing less i have done ...overall sry will e only word i can think of...i dare to take but don dare to let go ...so wad everyone ard said i dragonboater ...i'm strong ...but inside me how many really know i tat weak ...as weak as i hate to be...i guess none ...how hoping tat i can be like e show , drama , fairy tales ...tat have all those gd ending ...but i was wrong ...this thinking make me a inmature little boy who is stubborn n wont grow...n i jus scare ...what shall i do ...what must i do ...how can i improve... how i can grow...y am i so stubborn ...y am i so inmature ...where can i find back happyiness ...where can i find back my courage ...when can i find back myself ...there more question tat lies within it ...n i so lonely in e dark ...but i guess ...none will help neither will i take help from other ...LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A STRING OF DIFFICULT PROBLEMS...ONLY THOSE WHO MAKE THE MOST CORRECT CHOICES WILL HAVE E LEAST SUFFER N SURVIVE... but i was left to die ...hais ...Loving someone can be a easy things as u see...but it can be hell if it wan to be ...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Tuesday, November 4, 2008 11/04/2008


Alright ...this week was a long week i should said ...wad i hope nvr happen ...wad i nvr expect had happen ...thur was my birthday...In e morning ...when i was abt to go to sch someone walk toward me n pass me something n left...how should i feel i wonder ...i was cover by lot of feeling ...i was shocked cos i nvr expect tat ...i was wondering how long have she waited ...how early have she prepare e thing ...but end up ...only tat little time few sec to be with her ...so quite disappointed...so ended up to sch i dono how to express my feeling...i was kind of thinking over it again n again...okay reach sch ...this year super lot ppl wish me man ...but once again ...i don think i have any better wish ...is jus e same old one since e day 12th feb ...n soon later i was in my lecture...when it was abt to end ...my class n some other friend sing me a birthday song ...woo~~tat was great i guess ...thx alot ...however ...i have a dragonboat friend in my lec...so i was quite worry tat later he would tell e rest n... i will be beaten up later when i have training ...lucky to me ... the ones who know nvr tell e senior...n e rest of them who know jus wish me...after training ...i didnt eat with my friend ...jus rushing hm to prepare something ...but ended...nvm ...tat was e day i have ...


Fri ...went out after to sch to celebrate my birthday...but ended up ...i was very emo through out ...so didnt have fun at all unlike e rest ...i think ...i would not wan to go out with u guy again if i can predict i will get emo ...okay at night i given e newprint away ...even through it have been ages since we last take ...but i decided from e start to give it away since i don wan to see tat emo face of mine so sad tat i don even wan to look at it ...so ya ... n by e time i reach hm ...i was kind like wan to sleep ...but how could i sleep when i was so emo...so with my family outside ...i open up e cake n cut it n share with them ...i have a bad sore throat ...but still i eat it with joy...maybe tat was e only happy thing i enjoy tat night ...later be4 sleeping went on9 n happen to download some old song but is nice k ...den something happen ...i dono was it becos of i emo ,tired ,e song too sad ,but i sure i was thinking of something ...nvm ...i would jus show e pic ...well~~

Sat which was ytd ...after training ...i go hm n abt 2h later meet with ben n e gang ...when to celebrate i n tze hao birthday since after 4 day after mine was his ...when to eat seoul garden ....cool ...enjoy eating n eating n eating ...but i broke man ...cost quite alot...haha...pic will be post when i have it ...den later when to aracde to play e basketball...haha vs with wei yang ...n he own me a drink ...haha cool n thx...n soon later 5 of them watch movie which start at 11 while e rest ...play awhile at cs there n soon later hm sweet hm ...




n today ...skip my training again...dono should happy or sad...
My birthday cake 1st thing in tat morning ...thx alot...=)
If can i wan somemore ...haha ... greedy =X
not quite clear but wadever ...hais...


waiting 4 u to come back to me , Saturday, November 1, 2008 11/01/2008