So fast ... we meet again ... maybe is too good to be truth ... hardly believe it ... but ... is really nice ... sometimes thing i wan ... i jus don said ...in fact i pushing it away ... rushing her hm ...instead of letting her be with me a little longer ... well well ... thing really go back to where we were a few years back... but i know ... thing have change ... in fact ... among us four ppl ...i know i e only one that can leave e past behind n move on ...is like taking drug ... meet once ... n u wan more n more of it ... n when u cant get it ... i will jus get sad all of a sudden 4 a period of time ... hais ... i try to control ... but is not as easy as u see wad i have been doing daily ... but i will alway try to put on a smile each times ... it would be nice to smile den give an awkward face or feeling ... sometime fooling ard is so much better to those who r close to me ... so that when in btw ... u wan to tell them something that real from yr bottom of yr heart ... they take it as a joke or a lies .. at least it make me easier to said thing out ...but ppl may not trust e way u r ... but well ... i don have much close friend ... so it alright ... i know they will understand ... in fact ... i think only jerone know how to diff word i said is a joke or not ..( well not gd ah ...let one ppl understand too well is a bad thing ) ... well ..today ... i carry both a happy n a sad mood 4 e dinner ... later part i guess i did wrong again ... Word like "REGRET ...if next time i have any prob i WONT TELL ... SWEAR...i'm doing FINE " i dono y lei ... suddenly pissed me off ... disappointment as usual ...n i guess wad i said later was nasty as well sry ... so hais .. sad ... well well ... during outing i was thinking ...if i suddenly hold yr hand .. will i get push away immediately or will u hope it as tightly as i 'm ??? ... actually i should know e ans ... but sometime ... hearing it is far better den guessing it even i know wad e ans really is .....NOW ... i tired ... i sad ... i happy ... n i confused ... n i know something in btw ... i don said cos i know i don wan n cannot spoil e mood ... even now i know ...but i guess i should not blog it out ... but that part i really sad ... but i carry it myself jiu hao liao ... wa so late le ... maybe is time i go rest liao ...